Today was one of those days when I came home physically wiped out and very ready to crash early. A couple of glasses of red added to the woosy feeling and at 9.00 I turned the lights out ready to nod off.

But as much as my body was weary my brain was buzzing. It has happened several times now that I have gone to bed physically wiped, only to lie there for 2 hours thinking thru everything that’s going on in my life – and there is quite a bit at the moment.

Its even more strange because I was up early this morning, worked long and hard and almost fell asleep on the couch.

But the fact that it has happened a few times at the end of long physical days makes me wonder if (for me at least) my brain needs to be active for a certain number of hours each day before I can nod off?…

Anyone else experienced this?
Its just something I am pondering – now that I am up from bed and trying to use up some of that excess ‘brain energy’.

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There are days when you think “I am just not cutting it.”

This week has been ‘one of those days’

Danelle left for Bali last Friday night and I have been trying to cover all of my paid roles as well as being dad to the kids and preparing a sermon in my ’spare time’ while she has been gone. This is one of those weeks where I have to say ‘nope – didn’t cut it’.

Before the compassionate among you hit the ‘comment’ button and tell me how nice I am, (like you really

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know me!) I should add that this isn’t a cry for attention or a moment of self pity!

I think sometimes we just don’t do what we are supposed to do and we need to accept that. Apart from 2 solid days of landscaping work I have been facilitating an acom class for another 2 days as well as another day of meetings. In between I have been looking after the kids and then in between ‘in between times’ I have been preparing a sermon.

A long time ago I learnt that I am pretty good with people so long as I am not under stress and strain. Then I defer to ‘get the job mode’ and can be short, sharp and very directive. Its felt like that this week.

I’m not sure if the kids have been any more chaotic than usual, but I have found myself regularly irritable and grumpy because they just don’t move fast enough, or because they ‘behave like children’. I have important ‘adult’ stuff to do and they drag their feet.

I haven’t been in this place for a long time now. I really did learn that I am a bastard when stressed so i stopped getting stressed – worked less – created more space – but this week has reminded me that the ‘bastard’ is alive and well if I allow him the space to operate.

I will be really glad to have Danelle back tomorrow as I feel like I need a break from the non stop attention required by kids. I also need to get my head around a sermon for Sunday and so far I don’t feel like I’m close to being satisfied with it.

Today as I was laying turf I was reflecting on the task of being a single mum or dad and I could only imagine the difficulty that must bring. A week is usually long enough for me…

I use Sacred Space a lot in my morning prayer. It often lets you know which section of the church year you are in eg. advent, pentecost or easter.

I can’t help noticing how much ‘ordinary time’ there is…

Another reminder that most of life is ordinary and this is where we must focus our energies.

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: After some thought we figured we’d probably buy the camper at the price previously agreed as it was still in very good nick albeit not as old as we had thought.

However I also figured it wouldn’t hurt to politely ask if he would reconsider his price. I know I tend to respond better to a request than to someone trying to jostle me, so I texted a message simply asking if we would consider a reduction in price. He responded by knocking it down by $500.00. It was a deal and everyone was happy.

The moral of the story? It never hurts to ask the question

We picked up the new Patrol today and its a great driving car. Very pleased indeed.

We also bought a camper trailer yesterday, but that has become a little more complicated. Here’s the situation… let me know what you think…

The trailer was advertised as a 2002 Jayco Eagle (on-road) with a full annexe, TV & microwave. He had it in the Quokka for $16000.00 and after some haggling we agreed $15250 was a fair price. So we got the money out today to pay for it, but then got a call telling us he had made a mistake and it was actually a 2000 model…

Hmmm… While it is in excellent condition it is also 2 years older than I thought. I think it was a genuine mistake and not someone scamming. We asked for 24 hours to ponder it as I’m less convinced that is a good price for a vehicle that old.

But then I’m not a camper trailer expert.

There’s no question as to the condition of the camper. It is an 8/10 all thru and I have no problems with it in that regard. It would serve us well and we were looking forward to bringing it home.

The question is more related to resale. Can you get as good resale on an older camper?…

Any experts out there?…

By nature I am a goal setter and achievement oriented, but I have become aware that sometimes we set goals over which we think we have control, but in reality have no control or very limited control.

So this year as I was doing some planning I began to put my goals in two columns – those I can control and those I can’t.

Can you believe how small the list was of ‘things I control’?!

Quite seriously – if you think you are in control then complete that same exercise and observe how much of life is dependent on others / the divine. I am wearying a little of the goal setting process, partly for this reason and partly because there is so much that is not measurable, specific etc that matters. I also find that the stuff I achieve that I didn‘t set out to achieve sometimes is more valuable than the stuff I focus on…

Having said that, i still found this post from Mike Bullard helpful in understanding the value of having some sense of direction and focus on the things we are seeking to achieve.

Here’s an Ozzie Christmas

Lunch was sensational! Danelle knocked up one of the nicest meals I’ve ever had and the family came around.

It was 39 degrees C today – hot as!…

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So this evening we headed down to the local beach for Christmas ‘dinner’ with a few friends from the community. This pic was taken at 7.00pm when it was still 32 degrees C.

Gotta love an Ozzie Xmas!

Jarrod McKenna’s Wednesday’s with Gandhi:

 “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always.” -Mohandas Gandhi

I’m off to Indonesia this Friday (forgive me my carbon debts) to the Historic Peace Church Gathering on behalf of AAANZ and Quakers (It will be a bunch of very respectable, intelegent and impressive people from around the world… and this dreadlocked kid from Perth!).  So this will be my last ‘Wednesday with Gandhi’ for the year.  It’s funny I set out to write about a bunch of stuff that I didn’t get round to but I trust the Spirit will take what I have done and use it to invite and inspire people to know in deeper ways for themselves this Jesus that Gandhi said was the greatest practitioner of nonviolence in history, central to his revolution in India, and the one through whom, I believe, God’s dream for creation has broken into history.

I thought I’d end by letting you in on a little of the life of our community. Us Peace Tree mob can say with our hero Dorothy Day “We have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” As a community we seek to ‘serve in silence’ and not make a big deal of what we do but since the gang fights and the subsequent killing in the street behind ours was so public and made the news overseas, we thought we’d let our light shine in the hope that it doesn’t glorify us but the God who is transforming our world not through force but through a love seen fully in Jesus.

As Eastern Orthodox bishop Kallistos Ware writes (I love this quote);

“The Cross, understood as victory, sets before us the paradox of love’s omnipotence.  Dostoevsky comes near to the true meaning of Christ’s victory in some statements which he puts into the mouth of Starets Zosmia:

“At some thoughts a man stands perplexed, above all at the sight of human sin, and he wonders whether to combat it by force or by humble love. Always decide: “I will combat it by humble love.” If you resolve on that once and for all, you can conquer the whole world.  Loving humility is a terrible force: it is the strongest of all things, and there is nothing else like it.” “

We witnessed something of this humble love and healing on Saturday with our ‘Peace and Pizza’ event in response to the gang killing in our streets. As Nick Cave might put it “God was in the house” (well… garden). The family of the 18 year old kid who was killed bravely join us as well as many indigenous people and white fellas like me. We had yummy wood fired pizzas, great music, and Maori, Noogar and Wajalla (as well as  people from Malaysia, Iran, Indonesia, Kenya and elsewhere) came together for a time of silence to honour the life of John[ston] the young man who was killed and tree planting and prayer for an end to violence in our neighbourhood and our world. Thanks for all who have supported us Peace Tree crew over this time. Please keep the families involved, and our neighbourhood in your prayers. 

These photos were taken by our good friend and brother Tom Day who is an amazing photographer now in Perth. (his website is worth bookmarking: http://www.thomasdayphotography.com/ )

 the guy with the dog in this photo is classic :)

Prayer with the family that have lost their loved one on our streets.

 …love.

This was one of the most moving parts of the day when Noogar elders, parents and children helped to plant a tree to honour the life of a Maori boy killed by a Noogar gang.  It was truly beautiful and touched the family and the community gathered deeply.

 …love.

Youth Worker, Community gardener, co-chaplain at Hampton High and Peace Tree brother Josh Hobby, helps plant the tree with one of the family members.

 …love.

…love.

Thanks to all who have journeyed with me and Gandhi this year. I can still be found at http://paceebene.org/blog/jarrod-mckenna. Thanks more so to all who don’t put out PR releases but quietly go about living the decision “I will combat it by humble love.”   
You inspire me to know Christ more, to walk in the resurrection more. You witness to the reality that in Jesus love has won… and not even violence’s ultimate threat of death can stop resurrection power.

Grace and peace of the new world breaking in be with you,

Jarrod

The question of happiness oftens perplexes people. Its nice to see Vodafone have figured it out…

On a more serious note this really is the gospel of the world we live in, and its a ‘gospel’ many of us have bought into also. How does the church have any clout when we conform to the very message we should be confronting?

I read these lovely warm encouraging words from John this morning in Revelation. Somehow they seemed kinda relevant.

14″To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

I’m still figuring out how I can get that phone… because I soooo want to be happy…

This is one of my favourite pics of Ellie & me.

She was one week old.

I can’t really describe what I like, but even though its not the most technically brilliant pic the vibe is great

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It was great to hang out with the Third Place Communities crew for the weekend and to be involved in the Forge Intensive in Hobart, but the trip home and a couple of emotionally draining moments have left me kinda wiped out.

The intensive went well as we looked at the subject of Pioneering Leadership and what it looks like. There was a mixed bunch there, with some missionary church planters and a bunch of people still in established churches. Its sometimes difficult trying to cross that span when you are speaking because the needs of each group are quite unique.

The 6 hour flight from Hobart was rescheduled from 7.00am to 9.40am, a huge bonus because with Tasmanian daylight saving kicking in last night it would have actually been a 6.00am start – and after getting to bed at 1.00am it wouldn’t have been fun!

The trip home was one of those packed planes where they seemed to have squeezed the seats back a few centimeters on everyone and the leg room had all but disappeared. I was glad to get off…

The drive home was good and I can highly recommend Brighton Luxury Vehicle Charter. Their prices are much better than taxis and the service was excellent. If you’re stuck like I was and need a ride then they are good and service all areas of the city.

We had church this afternoon and learnt that one of our team (who we knew was leaving) has actually purchased a house and will be on their way at the end of the year. After being in the same community for over 10 years it was hard to hear. We believe they are making the right decision and we are happy for them, but the sadness hits you on days like these. These are people we have done a lot of life with, seen some good times and some bad, but have come out the other end as friends. I think that is always the test – whether you can get thru the hard stuff.

It was really hard watching our daughter burst into tears as she realised her friends were going and she and Sam were going to be the only kids left in our small church. I found that quite heart breaking. Despite praying for people to come and join us as missionaries we are still just us – and there are now going to be fewer of ‘us’. It was one of those days when the optimist in me started to flag and things looked a little darker.

We also have a difficult situation where a person who owes us $1200.00 is refusing to pay and trying to hang the guilts on us for daring to ask for it… I’m afraid that is just not the way to win me over. If they had asked for us to waive the amount and let it go I probably would have been happy to play, but to just refuse to cough up because you have changed your mind on a deal is pretty lame. To then go from that to try and make us feel bad is even worse. I am mad about that and want to go after them… But I have a feeling that I may end up letting it go. Some things just aren’t worth the hassle…

So I’ll be glad to wake up in the morning and see a new day…

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