After a wonderful time in Exmouth with the QBC crew (and a few other ring ins) we headed north with the intention of going to Millstream National Park. It was great to spend a week with good friends and always makes me wonder about that piece of advice ‘young pastors’ are given to ‘make sure you take holidays away from the people in your congregation’. I do understand the wisdom of the statement, but when your church are some of your good friends then it doesn’t always hold up that well.

So we headed north and made it to Pannawonnica – a nice little town really, with a ‘caravan park’ at the local footy oval and an honor box for payment. $25.00 was cheap and we had our last coffee for a few days. There was a free local drive in, but given the kids were pretty tired we decided to pass.

The 100km into Millstream wasn’t too bad but we didn’t seal the rear of the camper and when we got there we discovered it was covered in red dust inside and out… We went to pump some water from the tap and nothing came out… We pumped again and again, and again… Then I got underneath to check the water and somehow the full tank of water we left Exmouth with was bone dry. No water… (Still not sure why as we haven’t been able to refill it). Fortunately Millstream does have some water even if it’s not considered fit for drinking so the 20l Jerry in the back of the car as well as our other water bottles got us by. (The other possibility was that of heading to Red Bluff and that would have been very ugly to arrive there minus water)

So Danelle cleaned the camper while I kept the kids occupied and then we took off for a walk to Crossing Pool. Beautiful walk, icy water, but we all needed a good clean so we jumped in. The next day at Deep Reach only Sam could be tempted…

The Millstream campsite is really good. It is unpowered, but does have some water, bush toilets (or flushing toilets at the homestead for princesses) and a camp kitchen with gas bbqs and hot water to wash up with.

The nights were chilly – very very cold actually – but the days were stunning as we wandered around the old property. The only down side to this place is the constant droning noise of the Water Authority pumps that run both day and night. Not a big deal, but if you are looking for serenity it does take the edge off.

We left there today with the idea of heading towards Broome, but also knowing the caravan parks are fully booked. In my net searching though I managed to find the SDA church in Broome which is considered an ‘overflow’ site so I gave them a buzz and managed to land a powered site there for $35 a night – which is pretty dirt cheap for this time of year.

So today we are on the road for a big drive which we will complete tomorrow. It’ll be another free roadside stop – maybe De Grey river and then more driving tomorrow. Next stop is Hedland for lunch, fuel and a breather before we chug on. We are all grimed up in red dirt and ready for a shower but that might not be till tomorrow now.

The drive from Millstream back to Karratha today was stunning and reminds me why I love the north west. Occasionally in moments of madness I think about living up here. I say madness because while winter is awesome I know I’d be a very grumpy bugger come summer.

We have about two weeks left and so long as the kids can hold it together and enjoy the time we won’t be rushing home. They seem to get homesick before we do, but then they don’t go back to work!

Yeah… If only…

Our first night on the road was a cold one. We stopped in at North Cliff Head about 50ks north of Leeman and the same distance south of Dongara. There were plenty of others there and for a freebie it was pretty decent.

All was going well until I managed to lock the keys in the car this morning as we were packing up. We have a slightly dodgy central locking system but this had never happened before. I had accidentally flicked the locks on while In the car and the turned the ignition on to charge my phone. I hopped out closed the door and instead of the lock button bouncing back up it stayed down… Instantly I realized we were screwed. Not only were the keys in the ignition, but all my tools were in the boot and inaccessible.

So here’s a lesson in how to break into a GQ Patrol if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle if nowhere

1 Pray – yep we did that – I didn’t see much hope beyond broken glass in the first minute.

2 Hope you have phone reception and then google a Nissan dealer and ask them what to do. I was going to YouTube ‘how to break into a GQ Patrol’, but figured the service guys would know.

3 I was thinking it would be coat hanger down the door or packing tape – neither of which we had. But turns out the best way to get in is to lever the door open at the point where it meets the front windscreen and work from there.

The bloke at Nissan was correct in that with a decent screwdriver (borrowed from another camper) there is enough play in the door to open it about 8ml. Then we had to find something stiff enough and malleable enough to reach in and move the central locking button forward.

Danelle took the tv antenna and unscrewed one of its longer arms then beat it flat with the hammer we keep in the camper.

With the door held open by the screwdriver I was able to get the right angle on the antenna arm to move the button forwards and clunk we were in…

It set us back a total of maybe 20 minutes in all. The next option may have been to send one of the QBC crew to our home to pick up the spare key and bring it to us tomorrow, and a day in Cliff Head wouldn’t have been so bad…

As we drove off we took the moment to help the kids reflect on what you do when you’re stuck. Think – pray – fix and I reckon all matter.

Around 5 or 6 years ago I found myself in a really disturbing place in life, a place that has only begun to make sense in the last 18 months.

After 40 years of going hard, pursuing achievement and recognition – often at quite a price – I felt inexplicably demotivated, and not at all inspired to look for the next mountain to climb.

I began to worry. Really worry. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I hadn’t been here before and my strongest impulse was to try and locate or create a project I could set my sights on and get my teeth into. This was what I had done previously, and done well. I figured all I really needed was a ‘vision’ and I’d be sweet – I’d be back to normal – back to my old self…

But nothing came – and I didn’t have it in me to make something up either. I just couldn’t fudge it and hope things would right themselves again. I began to worry that this absence of a compelling sense of purpose and focus might become permanent and I may grow into one of those aging, self obsessed old people I had always despised… You know? People who ‘did their time’ and now were in cruise mode. People who were now ‘thinking of themselves for a bit’?…

The tag line at the bottom of my emails reads ‘life is a daring adventure or nothing at all’. But I felt my life was starting to resemble an old Commodore that had once been a good car, but was now someone’s shopping vehicle.

What was curious was that as I spoke with my close friends several others were experiencing similar kinds of dis-location. Those who were once ambitious, competitive and driven were losing those qualities. We lamented together and laughed at where we were, but we also had no answers for one another. It was just good to know we weren’t alone in our lostness.

It didn’t dawn on me at the time that this could possible be a good thing. I sometimes told people (only a little tongue in cheek) that I was in the middle of a mid life crisis so not to expect too much. The absence of the familiar ‘goal – charge – conquer’ routine certainly felt more like a crisis than the beginning of a new adventure. I couldn’t see or articulate what was happening beyond feeling lost and confused that I was no longer who I used to be.

One of the really odd experiences that occurred in this time was a sense of contentment. I dismissed it as totally inappropriate and just one step closer to complacency and mediocrity. How could you be content not to have a burning sense of purpose and an accompanying desire to change the world? Contentment was a comforting word you used to describe what you got when you lost focus… I told myself..,

But in the last twelve months I have begun to settle and feel more at ease in my own skin. I have sensed God saying ‘this is ok’ and I have decided to enjoy the contentment rather than spurn it as weakness.

This week I have been reading Richard Rohr’s ‘Falling Upwards a spirituality for the second half of life’ and it has been amazing. I am not a Rohr junkie – in fact I got bored in ‘Wild Man to Wise Man’ and gave it up… But this book has been describing what has been happening for me and giving words to theconfusing experiences that are to be expected if we are to ‘grow up’. I began highlighting parts and I think I may have now highlighted most of it.

The basic premise is that there are two halves to life and the tools, practices and ideas that served you well in the first 40 or so years need to be put down, changed and surrendered if we are to pick up new tools for the next half.

Rohr argues that many simply refuse to walk thru the desert of confusion and disorientation, so they end up repeating first half behaviours at a time when they should be growing up and morphing into different people.

It has helped me see why I have much less desire to compete or to be harsh on those with whom I disagree. It has helped me understand why I don’t need to achieve like I used to…or be ‘seen’. It has helped me to realize that I can enjoy being content and that perhaps the best really is yet to come.

Maybe you’ve had similar runctions in your own life and wondered ‘what the heck is going on?’ Maybe the challenge is to enjoy it and celebrate it, knowing that God is re-forming us and growing us and leading us to maturity and life.

It’s just one week until holidays. At the start of the year it felt like it would never come but I’ve got thru and next Sunday after church we head off for a while to have a change of pace.

We are going south to Margaret River until Wednesday to use up a 3 night apartment stay I booked earlier in the year but didnt use. Then it’s back home for a night before hitting the road north. It’s such an awesome feeling heading north. I’m not quite sure what it is but I know that once I hit the road in that direction there is an accompanying sense of release that I don’t get when I head other places.

I’m guessing it might be the remoteness and the shift in the landscape. When you’re that far away it really doesn’t matter what is happening at home – you are in another world.

I think that’s what we need at the moment. A few weeks to clear our heads, remove ourselves from the stresses of just living and working and enjoy a completely different headspace. When people ask me how long we are going for I can only respond with ‘a few weeks’. It might be 3, it might be 4 or it might be 5… Maybe even 6 if we feel we need it. I don’t want to feel to pinned down to a specific return date, but neither do I want to feel ‘trapped’ on holidays if we are ready to come home.

Right now I’m feeling pretty rested because life is in its winter rhythm and I am not flat out. Some days I think I don’t even need a holiday. But I also know that there is something special that happens when you actually do hit the road and leave all responsibilities behind.

I havent figured out how to go ‘phoneless’ or ’emailless’ yet while on a break. (Oh I know how to do it, but I am not sure if it’s what I want.) I tend to be able to switch off easily and screen calls but I also want to be able to tee up work for when I return so I’m not scratching around doing nothing for the first two weeks back. So it’s a trade off… and one of the possible down sides of running a small business.

Still it’s a small part of the bigger picture. Where are we headed? Well… ‘north’ Aside from a week in Exmouth we will be making it up as we go a d that’s how I like it!

For a bloke who hates gardening I seem to end up doing a lot of it… I guess you could say I married the wrong girl if I wanted a gardening free life!

The last couple of weeks have seen me slowly shift most of the ridiculous mound of mulch that was dumped on our verge (around 15 cubic metres) and then prune so many trees that we filled two front verges with the branches. I did get to buy and wield a chainsaw yesterday and that was somewhat satisfying to the my blokey needs.

Now we have cut some trees back and stripped others virtually naked. Apparently this is good for them…

All that stuff in the Bible about God pruning us so that we will be fruitful make a little more sense when you do this stuff. I guess if he has a shape that he hopes our life will take and we are open to his pruning then perhaps we will turn out better than if we just ‘grow wild’.

I’m not much of a greenie, but it’s hard not to cut a stack of branches off a tree and imagine it doesn’t cause pain. One tree even ‘bled’.

Perhaps I’m odd but I enjoy God’s ‘pruning’, not in the sense that it gives pain, but from the view that it shows he is there and he is concerned for the shape my life is taking. And usually ‘pruning’ is noticeable and significant rather than incremental. Again it’s good to be aware of the presence of God in my life and be consciously choosing to respond to that, because let’s face it – many days, weeks and months can come and go with little noticeable activity, but once God gets out the chainsaw then it’s hard to ignore.