Best thing we have ever done as a family?
It would have to be the big lap of Oz back in 2009 when the kids were 6 & 8 and we were in between church gigs. I hear lots of people thinking about doing something like this, others putting it on their retirement list (which of course, assumes you live that long) while others feel its just too complicated to pull off. No doubt that is true for some.
Every time I hear the Waifs song, ‘Take it In’, it takes me back to Cable Beach where we strolled, enjoyed amazing sunsets and played in warm water. One line in the song says ‘this is a time that will not come again…’ and I remember back then actually thinking savour this time because it is precious, so very precious. It will never come again. Your kids will never be that age. You will never be able to do the things you can do today. It will not get cheaper and easier…
If you’re a family pondering whether you can pull it off then chances are you can… if you arrange your life in such a way as to make it a possibility. Yeah it would probably mean long service leave, or even just resigning and taking a leap into the unknown.
Perhaps you wonder why bother with something like this? What’s the big attraction? Well, part of it is simply doing something that is a little risky and against the grain – although it’s becoming much more common as influencers try to make money along the way (not as easy as it looks by the way!) Most of it is the memories you get to create as a family – as well as the way it can shape and form a family. And then there’s the raw experience itself of seeing a place like Oz. We have a fantastic country and there is so much to be amazed by.
My original plan was to buy a big bus / motorhome and drive that around – but along the way common sense (Danelle) prevailed and we settled on a 1996 Nissan Patrol (with an intermittent air con issue that we never were able to fix) and a 2003 Jayco Eagle. Yeah – the 4 of us spent 6 months in a pop up camper van! I think about it now and it seems ridiculous. Our Jayco Silverline ‘mum and dad’ van is like a hotel room on wheels, while the Eagle was more like an overcrowded cubby house with canvas for walls.
While I would encourage every family to do something of this ilk, I’m less a fan of being ‘full time on the road’ as people say. It sounds exciting and fun, but I would fear for the lack of substantial relationships we would all have, for the impact of living what may be seen as a completely self indulgent and selfish life and of the lack of purpose that would accompany this type of life. I’m a firm believer in the importance of significant relationships – and these don’t happen when we are flitting from town to town. I’m also a believer in being ‘rooted’ somewhere and the lack of roots could potentially lead to a sense of isolation and un-belonging – anywhere. Some may argue that the traveller life means you belong everywhere, but I’m not convinced.
And while the laughs we had and the memories we shared were invaluable, I hope (and believe) that it also taught our children that you don’t have to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. You can drop everything for a time and hit the road. When Ellie took off to NZ on her own at 19 I was proud – and I wonder if the earlier experience of our family travelling may have helped her take that risk. Before he died, Sam had made a couple of Troopie trips to the North West with Cosi and I could easily have imagined them ‘on the road’ with their kids for a good slab of time. Sadly, not to be.
When I think of ‘before and after’ (sliding door) type moments then our decision to travel was definitely one for our family. For ever after the very first thing that got slotted into the year ahead were holidays – we had even negotiated 6 weeks annual leave with Quinns Baptist rather than the usual 4 – because we just didn’t think 4 was enough…
That trip was a fabulous time and it sits in my memory as my favourite experience the 4 of us had together – closely followed by our time in Ireland, but it wasn’t all roses. The church had been in a time of difficult conflict before we left and there was a vote in July to either keep us as pastors or vote us out. In a church of 32 members it only took 8 to see us sent packing. I clearly remember getting the message while we were walking the Strand in Townsville. On one hand we felt disappointed and even moreso for the people trying to bring some freshness to the church. On the other hand it had been so ugly that I wasn’t sad to be free of the burden.
It was also around that time that we had joined the dots on our ‘investment’ that we had hoped was going to fund the trip. We had put $250K into a joint venture project with an expected return of 40% – it was just before the GFC and very doable. However then came the GFC… Our project manager illegally borrowed money from our project to prop up his other failing projects, however when they fell over the whole thing came down in a heap and we kissed $250k goodbye. We had never been big money earners so that was a massive hit Having paid off the mortgage with a fluke investment, we were now back in that space with a loan bigger than we had ever had and with only a fledgling retic business to pay the bills. I would lie awake at night wondering how I would ever pay that loan off… I would tell myself ‘No one has died. No one is going to die. It’s just money.‘ We discussed packing up and heading home to get stuck into work and clear the debt, but we made a firm decision to stay the course, enjoy the time we had and figure the rest out when we landed back in Perth That was a good decision. There would have been nothing gained by coming home – and 2-3 months of wonderful memories would have been lost.
So if you’re pondering and even hankering to take off and do something like this, then just do it… Just make a plan, hit the road and live life in a whole different way for a period. It will enrich your family life and it may set a culture in your family – a love for adventure and exploration. It won’t all go to plan but you will come home changed and your family life will be richer for it!