A Cat Confession


I don’t mind cats.

No really… I have owned cats and quite like an animal that can look after itself to some degree, unlike a labrador that whines every time it gets put out.

But we have about 15 cats in our street now and I am ready to cull a few – sounds much nicer than ‘kill’ but means the same thing…

On either side of us and across the road are 9 cats who seem to love my car, our garage, our campervan as places to sleep and leave their cat hair and footprints. Even worse they do that disgusting territory marking spray that reeks for centuries afterwards.

I regularly walk out of my front door to see 4 cats sunning themselves on our front lawn. Normal cats would say to each other ‘quick – let’s get out of here!’ But these ones just laze around like they own the place.

I want to chase them and kick them… really really hard. I want to remind them that they are not my cats and ought to stay away from my house.

They walk past our rear sliding door in front of Winston who cracks a complete psycho every time he sees them. I think they like to taunt him. I would love to let him loose and see what might happen…

I found a cat in our campervan today – I heard it rummaging in there as I walked to the bin. The kids had left the garage door up and this creature had taken advantage. I lined up at the door of the garage to kick it as hard as I could, but in the dark it got past me. Bugger.

Some days it feels like these creatures own the street. Friends drive cars up the street only to see cats lying there who refuse to move until the last minute.

Our next door neighbour is a lovely compassionate woman who rescued two cats from the other woman across the street who refuses to get her cat sterilised. It has had 4 litters now and is pregnant again. Our neighbour also feeds two other strays, so they keep hanging around.

I would like to poison them all but I worry that I might get found out. I’d much prefer if everyone had one cat and kept it indoors so it wouldn’t be a nuisance to everyone else.

I have considered giving Winston the same freedom these cats have, letting him live out the front of the house, letting him crap on everyone else’s lawn as the cats do on ours, but I reckon people might think it rude…

Ok – rant over.

If there happens to be a news story about a spate of dead cats in Butler then you know where to look.push divx movie onlineseraphim falls dvdrip

8 thoughts on “A Cat Confession

  1. Step 1. Sprinkle pepper & chili powder everywhere

    Step 2. Plant Geraniums

    Step 3. Carry a Supper Soaker

    Step 4. Motion Sensor Controlled Retic

    If none of that works get the camper van and travel the country for 9 months content in the knowledge you will at least not come home to mouse infested house.

  2. 50/50 water and vinegar in a spray bottle is apparently very effective.

    And have you checked your by-laws? I think in Brisbane it is legal to trap and impound cats that you find on your property – I imagine most pest controllers would be able to furnish you with a cat trap.

  3. I think its just one of those bits of ‘life’ that annoys you, but you live with it…

    If I wanted to catch them all I’d need to do would be walk outside and pick them up!

    A big hessian sack with 15 cats in it… we are only 5 mins from the ocean…

    We like our neighbours and I think they like us so chances are that could damage things a little 🙂

  4. Mate, it’s time to pull the gloves off! Spray them with the hose, hit them with green lemons ripped off the tree, trap them in the caravan and give them a good scare. They are territorial and they have to learn the HARD WAY that it is your territory and not theirs.

    Look, I like cats also (we have two of them), but I can testify that whenever I have unambiguously ‘communicated’ to feline intruders that this is MY turf and not theirs, they’ve never come back to question it. 😉

    Besides, I can vouch that few things are more therapeutic than a well-aimed lemon knocking a haughty cat clean off the back fence!

  5. yeah maybe…

    there were 4 of them having a meeting out there again this morning.

    i have to think of a way of inflicting maximum non-visible pain so they will think twice.

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