Back in 2011 when we moved to Yanchep, we made it a practice to always come home by the beach road. It’s a little longer, but then why live in a beautiful place if you don’t indulge in that beauty often. Then in 2017 I made it a practice to take a daily photo / video of one of our local beaches and uploaded to Instagram and Facebook. So this road has been a significant and beautiful part of my daily life. It was part of the reason we chose to have Sam’s memorial here, but also because there was no place he loved like Yanchep. He’d be stoked to know that he stopped traffic for half an hour or so while we made the walk to the surf club!

We are incredibly blessed to live in this place and enjoy all its richness, but it’s been curious to observe a different shade on the daily ritual, so that is what this poem is expressing. (Without that little piece of back story it may seem a little odd).

Every day 

I drive the same familiar road

As it wends gently around our local beach

Every day

Without fail

It is a rich liturgy

A regular practice of worship

Recognising the creator and his goodness

Daily giving thanks for the place we call home

—

Then one day…

—

That familiar road changed forever

The drive became both beautiful and riven

Seablue on sorrow

Gratitude shaded by tears

These two must somehow hang together now

The beauty is no less beautiful 

Because of the sorrow

The pain is no less anguished

Because of the wonder

—

On that day

Hundreds of mourners flooded the road

A young man had died too soon

Some knew him well

Some from afar

But all knew

It was a moment we should not have been sharing.

A terrible lapse of judgement 

An unfixable mistake

A permanent agonising hole in our hearts

—

Somehow the ocean we love 

The ocean that has enriched our lives so wonderfully

Claimed the person we loved

Our son, brother, partner, friend 

Took his last breath

In those great blue depths 

—

In the slow silent trek to the surf club

We cried out in grief, rage and terror

Powerless to change this new reality.

This precious place 

Now lives in my heart 

As the home of immense joy and peace

But also death and loss

Trauma and pain

On that day we walked the road slowly

Trailing a shiny black car

Mourners held ground

As traffic was redirected

A final walk to remember him

—

Now

Every day 

I drive that road

Still

Every day

I see the foaming ocean

The fringing reef

And I give thanks

Every day

I remember my boy

Who I taught to love this ocean

To seek adventure in her waves

And to live…

Every day

Gratitude dovetaiils with grief

Predictable as the tide

For better or worse 

Every day 

My soul rises and falls on this road

—

Yes, I could take another route

Weave through the quiet streets to flee the searing reminder

But we can’t run from this reality

There is no ‘away’ we can go to

This is my life

Our lives 

Until another day

That great day

When there will be no shiny black cars

Setting the pace

No mourners walking slowly and silently 

Just joy and peace

A wonderful recognising and reuniting

Then the only tears

Will be tears of joy