A few years back I used to catch up with a person who attended our church but I never felt like he and his family had settled or actually chosen to put their roots down.
There was one massive clue. Any time he spoke of church he used the word ‘you‘ rather than ‘we’.
‘I like what you are trying to do’, he’d say and all I would hear is ‘I am not part of this thing.’
The language of what we are trying to do communicates something entirely different.
This is our church – our project. But when it i ‘yours’ it isn’t mine – we aren’t in this together.
Listen for it sometime – in your own language or in other people’s. You v we – it makes all the difference. One is communicating ownership and the other is just interest.