One of the questions that has come up regularly in my discussions with youth pastors is the changing shape of sexual morality and male/female relationships among Christian young people.

What is the go here?

In these changing and supposedly ‘enlightened’ times is it now ok to do the hokey pokey pre-marriage? Is it now ok to hook up with and marry someone who doesn’t share your faith? Are these cultural norms or biblical ones?

I’ll confess my hand straight up on this one. I hold a conservative position. I believe the Bible leads us to a position of purity pre-marriage and then to sharing our lives with another follower of Jesus.

I believe sex (in its various forms i.e. not just intercourse) belongs in marriage. I also believe that is hard to do and our failures are always forgivable. However using that as an escape route (no pun intended) is pretty lame.

I also believe Christians are to marry people who share their faith. It is definitely not a sure fire way to have a great marriage, but honestly, I don’t think its even a real question if the driving agenda of our lives is ‘what does God want for me?’ Does God want me to spend my life with someone who is not interested in him and his kingdom? Ummm…

However, all that said, the reality is that most young people in churches today (I have heard it estimated 80% or higher) do not hold that same ‘no sex before marriage’ view. Or if they espouse it, they don’t practice it. And when it comes to finding a partner its tough for Christian young people. The field is narrow.

FWIW, its my own conviction that these are times to trust God, rather than give him the flick. My own experience of singleness almost brought me to despair as I couldn’t seem to find a suitable partner anywhere. But just as all hope was fading (I was all of 26!) Danelle popped up out of the blue.

I believe that old adage from 1 Samuel is completely true “He honours me, I will honour”. It doesn’t translate as he who tithes will have a heap of cash, or he who only dates Christian girls will marry a babe, or he who doesn’t do ‘it’ pre-marriage will get it more after. But I do believe that God doesn’t forget his kids at any time.

How about you?

What do you reckon on this increasingly controversial topic?

Is the changing position on sex a product of a changing culture or ought we read the Bible differently?

Is the idea of dating and marrying someone of the same faith an outdate one or is it something we still ought to hold to.

How much of our behaviour is actually shaped by our feelings at the time, and how much is by what we claim to believe.

Ok – all you youth pastor types! This is real life for you. These are the people you deal with every day. Lets hear your take on it.

1 thought on “Screwed?

  1. i believe in no sex befor marage because that is lowering the standareds that god would have you obey. and i believe that you should in no case what so eva (unless God for some reason saysd so) marry or have any sexual relations with people who worship fals God s. it says in the bible not to do that or it will bring down the nations. one of the kings in the bible did that BIG MISTAKE! thats justa as bad going into a multi faith church! not good at all. not accepable in any way. if we are going to do god will then we need to come up to god standard because god wont lower his standard. we no what happens to nations who dont obey God and behave in a way that God dishonors HE WIPES THEM OUT! after all we dont deep to conform to the fleshly desires because this isnt a flesh war this is a spiritaul war. people need to no that it doest mater what the world thinks because when it comes to the cronch we are not winning skin we are winning souls and whats done on earth is done in heaven so we have to be carful because in a way we reap what we sew for eternity!!! p.s. GOOD TOPIC!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *