What is the difference for you between people you connect with and want to be around and those who you ‘can take or leave’ when it comes to hanging out and spending time.
I have noticed time and time again that for me the people I enjoy being around are not always the ones I have the most in common with, but they are the one’s who genuinely inquire into my world and my life – who want to know what’s going on. In a sense its because they make me feel valued and significant.
Because much of my ‘work’ involves enquiring into other’s lives I do it quite automatically now, but it has also enhanced me noticing when it is not reciprocated.
I grow very tired very quickly when I find myself in a conversation where I am doing all the asking and all the listening. I find myself in screensaver mode very quickly and looking for escape routes.
I believe its a basic skill of friendship (if friendship has ‘skills’) to be interested in another person’s life and to listen well. I imagine if we each genuinely inquired more of the people we live around we would have much better relationships because we would show our valuing of each other.
Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it.
Try noticing how many people do it and how many just vomit their information on you!
How about you – what makes a difference for you?